The latest and the greatest

So Srpski jezik casovi (serbian language classes) are going well. Ucim Srpski u institutu. (I am studying Serbian at the institute. Not bad, eh? Am learning how to have small conversations and kind of just get through the town without sounding like a complete idiot. Only problem occurs after I speak. Then the people speak so dang fast I am like "huh?" Then they speak English and I am like "NO! I want to practice Serbian!" Then I ask them to slow down. Then I am like "huh?" This has happened a couple of times. :) I am getting better though.

Met with Dragana (isn't that name cool?!), the psychologist, and the beneficiaries from Atina last week. We had a focus group to discuss the needs they have that are not yet being met so we could determine an intervention or skill building exercise to assist. The beneficiaries talked a lot about trust and self-esteem. Their trust has been broken by the trafficking, as you can imagine. Some girls are trafficked by family, some by boyfriends, friends, etc. So their ability to trust people is definitely shaky. The whole trafficking experience has damaged their self-esteem and its long lasting effects are prominent. To be clear, these women are not huddling in the corner crying all day. It is different. The human spirit is amazingly strong. These women are sometimes in shock and talk about their experience like they are reading a recipe. Also, if they have already come to terms with their trauma they may just have internal conflicts about their worth. Many levels of response to the trauma but ultimately their self-esteem is low if non-existent.

They also talked about pain, both identification and coping. The beneficiaries have an extremely high pain tolerance since their trafficking trauma. Sometimes the tolerance can be so extreme that it can be life threatening. One beneficiary, let's call her "Biljana", had pain and was not using the bathroom very often and when she did her stool was black. She had appendicitis and her appendix had ruptured. She was living with this pain for 3-4 weeks! Can you imagine? She was rushed to the hospital and was immediately put into surgery. She recovered and then had a ovarian cyst a few months later that was so large it was the size of an orange! She lived with that pain for a while too! She was again rushed to the hospital after it was discovered in a conversation with the Atina people and she is doing much better now.

The women said that you learn not to talk about pain. If you are beaten and you say that it hurts you will be beaten more. You cannot even discuss menstrual pain. The women told me that when they had their periods, the traffickers would give them sponges (like the ones for the kitchen) and would tell them to insert them into their vaginas so that they could keep "working". Sometimes they would not be able to get them out and would get toxic shock. One woman was pregnant when she was trafficked. Her trafficker found out she was pregnant and made her lay on the floor and he jumped on her stomach over and over to kill the baby. Pain tolerance is a method and after trafficking it can be deadly.

After a long discussion, the women decided that trust was the most important issue. All other issues pale in comparison. It is hard for them to trust anyone and it takes a long time for them to begin to trust. So we decided to have a workshop where the women will talk about the different scenarios they want to deal with (boyfriends, employers, new people, family, etc.) and have the group make decisions about what is the most appropriate responses to each situation. The dynamic is such that I am not just telling them what they should do but rather that they are already informed enough that they are able to give good direction to each other (self-esteem building as well). It will be a role playing workshop so that they can practice what they would do in the situation. I will also encourage them to trust themselves and their instincts. If they feel like a certain person is not to be trusted then they can listen to themselves and make their own decision. It is not all or nothing with trust. People earning trust over time has great value and is completely appropriate.

The workshop is next week. I will be conducting it with Dragana so that she can assist with translation and also so that if anyone has a role play that becomes too much for them they can have a chat with Dragana after and work it out. Safety first.

Other than that, Maja will have me put together an Excel data base that will allow for easier reporting of their data. Most of their data is on paper and is in a couple of different places so we decided it would be very useful to have an ongoing data base where she can get snapshots of their data and tell people what is what without having to go through the paperwork. Nice, huh?

So that is my update. Sorry I am not blogging as much as I had hoped I would. Things move a little slowly here and I did not want to blog just for the sake of blogging. Need to have something to say. I will keep you all up to date on the progress of the workshop and the data base.

Thank you for reading and a big kiss to you all!










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